Fugging Honey Badgers
83-69
Manager: Garth Graham
Radiologist who named his team after an Austrian village with the unmistakable energy of a 55-year-old professional who spent thirty years being The Respectable One and has finally snapped. This is his one act of rebellion. He probably chuckles every time he types it in the league chat. Reading things others can't interpret is his entire professional skill set, and he applied it to a fake baseball roster and it worked.
Injured List
No active injuries.
Batters
Simulated 2026
Real Life 1989
| Player | AVG | AB | H | 2B | 3B | HR | RBI | R | BB | K | SB |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| A Farm Graham, Garth | 0.000 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Brett, George | 0.254 | 236 | 60 | 6 | 2 | 3 | 31 | 30 | 16 | 22 | 5 |
| Burks, Ellis | 0.209 | 196 | 41 | 6 | 4 | 5 | 24 | 22 | 16 | 39 | 6 |
| Clark, Jack | 0.232 | 384 | 89 | 15 | 4 | 21 | 67 | 63 | 80 | 142 | 6 |
| Davis, Alvin | 0.310 | 548 | 170 | 35 | 2 | 16 | 87 | 87 | 97 | 66 | 3 |
| Evans, Dwight | 0.242 | 546 | 132 | 24 | 5 | 17 | 80 | 79 | 96 | 110 | 4 |
| Fisk, Carlton | 0.333 | 174 | 58 | 13 | 1 | 11 | 44 | 32 | 11 | 27 | 1 |
| Franco, Julio | 0.291 | 547 | 159 | 24 | 5 | 11 | 69 | 66 | 25 | 75 | 16 |
| Graham, Garth | 0.190 | 42 | 8 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 7 | 0 |
| Jacoby, Brook | 0.333 | 78 | 26 | 3 | 1 | 7 | 17 | 15 | 8 | 11 | 0 |
| Kelly, Roberto | 0.288 | 427 | 123 | 16 | 5 | 12 | 52 | 68 | 33 | 96 | 29 |
| Lansford, Carney | 0.297 | 438 | 130 | 12 | 2 | 8 | 46 | 77 | 39 | 34 | 14 |
| McGwire, Mark | 0.167 | 12 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 |
| Oquendo, Jose | 0.283 | 353 | 100 | 17 | 1 | 3 | 36 | 49 | 45 | 46 | 10 |
| Reed, Jody | 0.232 | 345 | 80 | 12 | 1 | 7 | 40 | 51 | 38 | 55 | 4 |
| Smith, Lonnie | 0.324 | 512 | 166 | 26 | 1 | 32 | 102 | 95 | 66 | 118 | 14 |
| Whitt, Ernie | 0.268 | 411 | 110 | 16 | 3 | 10 | 54 | 65 | 49 | 72 | 14 |
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| A Farm Graham, Garth | 0 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Brett, George | 16 | 0.188 | 0.188 | 0.313 | 0.501 |
| Burks, Ellis | 29 | 0.276 | 0.405 | 0.483 | 0.888 |
| Clark, Jack | 122 | 0.295 | 0.456 | 0.508 | 0.964 |
| Davis, Alvin | 136 | 0.375 | 0.459 | 0.603 | 1.062 |
| Evans, Dwight | 121 | 0.273 | 0.369 | 0.372 | 0.741 |
| Fisk, Carlton | 112 | 0.366 | 0.395 | 0.679 | 1.074 |
| Franco, Julio | 91 | 0.253 | 0.269 | 0.330 | 0.599 |
| Graham, Garth | 32 | 0.156 | 0.222 | 0.188 | 0.410 |
| Jacoby, Brook | 62 | 0.323 | 0.377 | 0.645 | 1.022 |
| Kelly, Roberto | 114 | 0.351 | 0.414 | 0.561 | 0.975 |
| Lansford, Carney | 101 | 0.277 | 0.373 | 0.426 | 0.799 |
| McGwire, Mark | 8 | 0.250 | 0.333 | 0.250 | 0.583 |
| Oquendo, Jose | 63 | 0.286 | 0.324 | 0.508 | 0.832 |
| Reed, Jody | 108 | 0.213 | 0.267 | 0.241 | 0.508 |
| Smith, Lonnie | 115 | 0.357 | 0.449 | 0.617 | 1.066 |
| Whitt, Ernie | 39 | 0.231 | 0.295 | 0.385 | 0.680 |
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| A Farm Graham, Garth | 0 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Brett, George | 220 | 0.259 | 0.305 | 0.336 | 0.641 |
| Burks, Ellis | 167 | 0.198 | 0.250 | 0.335 | 0.585 |
| Clark, Jack | 262 | 0.202 | 0.319 | 0.431 | 0.750 |
| Davis, Alvin | 412 | 0.289 | 0.401 | 0.425 | 0.826 |
| Evans, Dwight | 425 | 0.233 | 0.352 | 0.405 | 0.757 |
| Fisk, Carlton | 62 | 0.274 | 0.338 | 0.484 | 0.822 |
| Franco, Julio | 456 | 0.298 | 0.337 | 0.430 | 0.767 |
| Graham, Garth | 10 | 0.300 | 0.364 | 0.600 | 0.964 |
| Jacoby, Brook | 16 | 0.375 | 0.444 | 0.750 | 1.194 |
| Kelly, Roberto | 313 | 0.265 | 0.309 | 0.387 | 0.696 |
| Lansford, Carney | 337 | 0.303 | 0.372 | 0.377 | 0.749 |
| McGwire, Mark | 4 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Oquendo, Jose | 290 | 0.283 | 0.368 | 0.331 | 0.699 |
| Reed, Jody | 237 | 0.241 | 0.330 | 0.376 | 0.706 |
| Smith, Lonnie | 397 | 0.315 | 0.394 | 0.552 | 0.946 |
| Whitt, Ernie | 372 | 0.272 | 0.348 | 0.395 | 0.743 |
Pitchers
Simulated 2026
Real Life 1989
| Player | ERA | WHIP | W | L | SV | G | GS | INN | H | ER | BB | K |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Andersen, Larry | 1.77 | 0.99 | 9 | 0 | 4 | 55 | 0 | 86.2 | 71 | 17 | 15 | 85 |
| Bankhead, Scott | 8.05 | 1.63 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 4 | 19.0 | 24 | 17 | 7 | 10 |
| Bielecki, Mike | 5.50 | 1.56 | 8 | 6 | 0 | 18 | 18 | 113.0 | 130 | 69 | 46 | 60 |
| Drabek, Doug | 5.36 | 1.56 | 10 | 16 | 0 | 30 | 30 | 179.2 | 224 | 107 | 57 | 88 |
| Hurst, Bruce | 6.14 | 1.70 | 9 | 11 | 0 | 29 | 29 | 173.0 | 249 | 118 | 45 | 119 |
| Lancaster, Les | 3.00 | 1.11 | 7 | 0 | 1 | 42 | 2 | 81.0 | 67 | 27 | 23 | 51 |
| Landrum, Bill | 2.71 | 1.22 | 5 | 2 | 10 | 48 | 0 | 69.2 | 66 | 21 | 19 | 47 |
| Magrane, Joe | 7.45 | 2.07 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 4 | 19.1 | 29 | 16 | 11 | 11 |
| McCaskill, Kirk | 5.96 | 1.64 | 8 | 11 | 0 | 29 | 29 | 166.0 | 224 | 110 | 48 | 81 |
| McClure, Bob | 2.37 | 1.33 | 7 | 2 | 1 | 45 | 0 | 57.0 | 54 | 15 | 22 | 37 |
| Minton, Greg | 4.04 | 1.44 | 2 | 4 | 6 | 47 | 0 | 71.1 | 73 | 32 | 30 | 31 |
| Montgomery, Jeff | 2.39 | 1.15 | 2 | 3 | 27 | 58 | 0 | 94.0 | 84 | 25 | 24 | 106 |
| Moore, Mike | 4.05 | 1.36 | 12 | 11 | 0 | 32 | 32 | 195.1 | 190 | 88 | 76 | 139 |
| Stewart, Dave | 5.00 | 1.94 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 1 | 18.0 | 27 | 10 | 8 | 15 |
Batting line allowed vs LHB
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WHIP |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Andersen, Larry | 159 | 0.289 | 0.321 | 0.377 | 0.698 | 1.43 |
| Bankhead, Scott | 46 | 0.239 | 0.321 | 0.500 | 0.821 | 1.46 |
| Bielecki, Mike | 234 | 0.329 | 0.414 | 0.509 | 0.923 | 2.16 |
| Drabek, Doug | 418 | 0.311 | 0.374 | 0.467 | 0.841 | 1.80 |
| Hurst, Bruce | 106 | 0.349 | 0.378 | 0.509 | 0.887 | 1.83 |
| Lancaster, Les | 136 | 0.162 | 0.253 | 0.243 | 0.496 | 1.03 |
| Landrum, Bill | 138 | 0.232 | 0.267 | 0.348 | 0.615 | 1.10 |
| Magrane, Joe | 9 | 0.111 | 0.273 | 0.111 | 0.384 | 1.13 |
| McCaskill, Kirk | 364 | 0.299 | 0.345 | 0.495 | 0.840 | 1.61 |
| McClure, Bob | 56 | 0.143 | 0.269 | 0.179 | 0.448 | 1.06 |
| Minton, Greg | 132 | 0.250 | 0.297 | 0.409 | 0.706 | 1.30 |
| Montgomery, Jeff | 192 | 0.255 | 0.309 | 0.318 | 0.627 | 1.30 |
| Moore, Mike | 397 | 0.267 | 0.333 | 0.363 | 0.696 | 1.52 |
| Stewart, Dave | 42 | 0.333 | 0.378 | 0.500 | 0.878 | 1.82 |
Batting line allowed vs RHB
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WHIP |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Andersen, Larry | 163 | 0.153 | 0.184 | 0.190 | 0.374 | 0.70 |
| Bankhead, Scott | 33 | 0.394 | 0.412 | 0.818 | 1.230 | 2.10 |
| Bielecki, Mike | 216 | 0.245 | 0.274 | 0.398 | 0.672 | 1.16 |
| Drabek, Doug | 319 | 0.295 | 0.322 | 0.492 | 0.814 | 1.44 |
| Hurst, Bruce | 637 | 0.333 | 0.372 | 0.534 | 0.906 | 1.78 |
| Lancaster, Les | 160 | 0.281 | 0.310 | 0.438 | 0.748 | 1.33 |
| Landrum, Bill | 128 | 0.266 | 0.326 | 0.359 | 0.685 | 1.47 |
| Magrane, Joe | 75 | 0.373 | 0.435 | 0.587 | 1.022 | 2.36 |
| McCaskill, Kirk | 335 | 0.343 | 0.383 | 0.513 | 0.896 | 1.84 |
| McClure, Bob | 161 | 0.286 | 0.335 | 0.342 | 0.677 | 1.54 |
| Minton, Greg | 147 | 0.272 | 0.355 | 0.347 | 0.702 | 1.68 |
| Montgomery, Jeff | 178 | 0.197 | 0.254 | 0.326 | 0.580 | 0.97 |
| Moore, Mike | 353 | 0.238 | 0.303 | 0.365 | 0.668 | 1.33 |
| Stewart, Dave | 37 | 0.351 | 0.419 | 0.486 | 0.905 | 2.25 |
