Fugging Honey Badgers
73-66
Manager: Garth Graham
Radiologist who named his team after an Austrian village with the unmistakable energy of a 55-year-old professional who spent thirty years being The Respectable One and has finally snapped. This is his one act of rebellion. He probably chuckles every time he types it in the league chat. Reading things others can't interpret is his entire professional skill set, and he applied it to a fake baseball roster and it worked.
Injured List
No active injuries.
Batters
Simulated 2026
Real Life 1989
| Player | AVG | AB | H | 2B | 3B | HR | RBI | R | BB | K | SB |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| A Farm Graham, Garth | 0.000 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Brett, George | 0.255 | 235 | 60 | 6 | 2 | 3 | 31 | 29 | 16 | 22 | 5 |
| Burks, Ellis | 0.210 | 195 | 41 | 6 | 4 | 5 | 24 | 22 | 16 | 39 | 6 |
| Clark, Jack | 0.228 | 334 | 76 | 13 | 3 | 20 | 64 | 53 | 73 | 120 | 4 |
| Davis, Alvin | 0.311 | 502 | 156 | 31 | 2 | 15 | 82 | 77 | 89 | 62 | 3 |
| Evans, Dwight | 0.232 | 499 | 116 | 22 | 5 | 13 | 62 | 74 | 87 | 104 | 2 |
| Fisk, Carlton | 0.341 | 164 | 56 | 12 | 1 | 10 | 43 | 30 | 11 | 25 | 1 |
| Franco, Julio | 0.292 | 500 | 146 | 23 | 5 | 11 | 63 | 63 | 24 | 67 | 14 |
| Graham, Garth | 0.190 | 42 | 8 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 7 | 0 |
| Jacoby, Brook | 0.343 | 67 | 23 | 3 | 1 | 6 | 15 | 13 | 7 | 10 | 0 |
| Kelly, Roberto | 0.291 | 381 | 111 | 15 | 4 | 11 | 43 | 62 | 26 | 87 | 25 |
| Lansford, Carney | 0.293 | 410 | 120 | 12 | 1 | 8 | 45 | 73 | 38 | 33 | 13 |
| McGwire, Mark | 0.286 | 7 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 |
| Oquendo, Jose | 0.294 | 306 | 90 | 14 | 1 | 2 | 33 | 39 | 38 | 40 | 10 |
| Reed, Jody | 0.222 | 333 | 74 | 10 | 1 | 6 | 34 | 48 | 31 | 53 | 4 |
| Smith, Lonnie | 0.314 | 458 | 144 | 24 | 1 | 25 | 90 | 80 | 59 | 108 | 12 |
| Whitt, Ernie | 0.261 | 371 | 97 | 16 | 3 | 8 | 47 | 57 | 45 | 66 | 10 |
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| A Farm Graham, Garth | 0 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Brett, George | 16 | 0.188 | 0.188 | 0.313 | 0.501 |
| Burks, Ellis | 29 | 0.276 | 0.405 | 0.483 | 0.888 |
| Clark, Jack | 113 | 0.301 | 0.463 | 0.531 | 0.994 |
| Davis, Alvin | 126 | 0.381 | 0.466 | 0.619 | 1.085 |
| Evans, Dwight | 112 | 0.286 | 0.382 | 0.393 | 0.775 |
| Fisk, Carlton | 103 | 0.388 | 0.418 | 0.699 | 1.117 |
| Franco, Julio | 82 | 0.268 | 0.286 | 0.354 | 0.640 |
| Graham, Garth | 32 | 0.156 | 0.222 | 0.188 | 0.410 |
| Jacoby, Brook | 55 | 0.327 | 0.383 | 0.636 | 1.019 |
| Kelly, Roberto | 105 | 0.343 | 0.402 | 0.543 | 0.945 |
| Lansford, Carney | 94 | 0.277 | 0.378 | 0.415 | 0.793 |
| McGwire, Mark | 5 | 0.400 | 0.500 | 0.400 | 0.900 |
| Oquendo, Jose | 54 | 0.296 | 0.328 | 0.481 | 0.809 |
| Reed, Jody | 105 | 0.200 | 0.250 | 0.229 | 0.479 |
| Smith, Lonnie | 104 | 0.356 | 0.447 | 0.587 | 1.034 |
| Whitt, Ernie | 34 | 0.235 | 0.308 | 0.412 | 0.720 |
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| A Farm Graham, Garth | 0 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Brett, George | 219 | 0.260 | 0.307 | 0.338 | 0.645 |
| Burks, Ellis | 166 | 0.199 | 0.251 | 0.337 | 0.588 |
| Clark, Jack | 221 | 0.190 | 0.312 | 0.430 | 0.742 |
| Davis, Alvin | 376 | 0.287 | 0.398 | 0.420 | 0.818 |
| Evans, Dwight | 387 | 0.217 | 0.337 | 0.370 | 0.707 |
| Fisk, Carlton | 61 | 0.262 | 0.328 | 0.459 | 0.787 |
| Franco, Julio | 418 | 0.297 | 0.335 | 0.438 | 0.773 |
| Graham, Garth | 10 | 0.300 | 0.364 | 0.600 | 0.964 |
| Jacoby, Brook | 12 | 0.417 | 0.500 | 0.917 | 1.417 |
| Kelly, Roberto | 276 | 0.272 | 0.308 | 0.399 | 0.707 |
| Lansford, Carney | 316 | 0.297 | 0.368 | 0.377 | 0.745 |
| McGwire, Mark | 2 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Oquendo, Jose | 252 | 0.294 | 0.376 | 0.341 | 0.717 |
| Reed, Jody | 228 | 0.232 | 0.310 | 0.351 | 0.661 |
| Smith, Lonnie | 354 | 0.302 | 0.384 | 0.520 | 0.904 |
| Whitt, Ernie | 337 | 0.264 | 0.342 | 0.383 | 0.725 |
Pitchers
Simulated 2026
Real Life 1989
| Player | ERA | WHIP | W | L | SV | G | GS | INN | H | ER | BB | K |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Andersen, Larry | 1.98 | 1.07 | 8 | 0 | 3 | 49 | 0 | 77.1 | 68 | 17 | 15 | 76 |
| Bankhead, Scott | 8.05 | 1.63 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 4 | 19.0 | 24 | 17 | 7 | 10 |
| Bielecki, Mike | 5.73 | 1.62 | 6 | 6 | 0 | 16 | 16 | 99.0 | 118 | 63 | 42 | 52 |
| Drabek, Doug | 5.70 | 1.62 | 8 | 15 | 0 | 27 | 27 | 161.0 | 208 | 102 | 53 | 76 |
| Hurst, Bruce | 6.24 | 1.73 | 8 | 11 | 0 | 27 | 27 | 158.2 | 232 | 110 | 42 | 109 |
| Lancaster, Les | 2.93 | 1.12 | 7 | 0 | 1 | 39 | 2 | 76.2 | 64 | 25 | 22 | 48 |
| Landrum, Bill | 2.92 | 1.19 | 5 | 2 | 9 | 46 | 0 | 64.2 | 59 | 21 | 18 | 45 |
| Magrane, Joe | 7.45 | 2.07 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 4 | 19.1 | 29 | 16 | 11 | 11 |
| McCaskill, Kirk | 5.82 | 1.66 | 7 | 9 | 0 | 26 | 26 | 148.1 | 201 | 96 | 45 | 70 |
| McClure, Bob | 2.38 | 1.36 | 6 | 2 | 1 | 41 | 0 | 53.0 | 50 | 14 | 22 | 37 |
| Minton, Greg | 3.95 | 1.42 | 2 | 4 | 6 | 46 | 0 | 68.1 | 68 | 30 | 29 | 30 |
| Montgomery, Jeff | 2.53 | 1.19 | 2 | 3 | 25 | 54 | 0 | 89.0 | 82 | 25 | 24 | 100 |
| Moore, Mike | 4.25 | 1.42 | 10 | 11 | 0 | 29 | 29 | 173.2 | 174 | 82 | 72 | 121 |
| Stewart, Dave | 5.00 | 1.94 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 1 | 18.0 | 27 | 10 | 8 | 15 |
Batting line allowed vs LHB
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WHIP |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Andersen, Larry | 145 | 0.303 | 0.340 | 0.393 | 0.733 | 1.54 |
| Bankhead, Scott | 46 | 0.239 | 0.321 | 0.500 | 0.821 | 1.46 |
| Bielecki, Mike | 208 | 0.332 | 0.420 | 0.505 | 0.925 | 2.22 |
| Drabek, Doug | 383 | 0.319 | 0.382 | 0.465 | 0.847 | 1.86 |
| Hurst, Bruce | 96 | 0.375 | 0.394 | 0.542 | 0.936 | 1.95 |
| Lancaster, Les | 128 | 0.172 | 0.262 | 0.258 | 0.520 | 1.08 |
| Landrum, Bill | 129 | 0.233 | 0.270 | 0.357 | 0.627 | 1.12 |
| Magrane, Joe | 9 | 0.111 | 0.273 | 0.111 | 0.384 | 1.13 |
| McCaskill, Kirk | 329 | 0.298 | 0.343 | 0.477 | 0.820 | 1.60 |
| McClure, Bob | 47 | 0.106 | 0.259 | 0.128 | 0.387 | 1.00 |
| Minton, Greg | 128 | 0.242 | 0.291 | 0.398 | 0.689 | 1.27 |
| Montgomery, Jeff | 182 | 0.264 | 0.320 | 0.330 | 0.650 | 1.37 |
| Moore, Mike | 353 | 0.263 | 0.332 | 0.357 | 0.689 | 1.51 |
| Stewart, Dave | 42 | 0.333 | 0.378 | 0.500 | 0.878 | 1.82 |
Batting line allowed vs RHB
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WHIP |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Andersen, Larry | 148 | 0.162 | 0.195 | 0.203 | 0.398 | 0.75 |
| Bankhead, Scott | 33 | 0.394 | 0.412 | 0.818 | 1.230 | 2.10 |
| Bielecki, Mike | 190 | 0.258 | 0.285 | 0.411 | 0.696 | 1.21 |
| Drabek, Doug | 286 | 0.301 | 0.329 | 0.514 | 0.843 | 1.49 |
| Hurst, Bruce | 593 | 0.331 | 0.371 | 0.533 | 0.904 | 1.78 |
| Lancaster, Les | 152 | 0.276 | 0.306 | 0.414 | 0.720 | 1.31 |
| Landrum, Bill | 117 | 0.248 | 0.310 | 0.350 | 0.660 | 1.36 |
| Magrane, Joe | 75 | 0.373 | 0.435 | 0.587 | 1.022 | 2.36 |
| McCaskill, Kirk | 296 | 0.348 | 0.392 | 0.530 | 0.922 | 1.91 |
| McClure, Bob | 153 | 0.294 | 0.345 | 0.353 | 0.698 | 1.61 |
| Minton, Greg | 138 | 0.268 | 0.354 | 0.326 | 0.680 | 1.66 |
| Montgomery, Jeff | 169 | 0.201 | 0.261 | 0.331 | 0.592 | 1.00 |
| Moore, Mike | 319 | 0.254 | 0.321 | 0.386 | 0.707 | 1.45 |
| Stewart, Dave | 37 | 0.351 | 0.419 | 0.486 | 0.905 | 2.25 |
